Mark the spot
by Vertraymer
Summary: O.S. I always knew it was wrong, but each time he came back, it was all the same. "X is just to mark the spot 'cause that's the one you really want." Until the next time. We weren't only lovers, our relationship was much more complicated. LEMON.


**Disclaimer : **Don't own anything.

Just an idea I was toying with for a few weeks. I don't normally do English, but I thought I'll give it a try.

Loosely based on _S.E.X. _by Nickelback.

Enjoy.

* * *

**_Mark the Spot_**

"Hi."

Even to my ears, my voice sounded shaky. I tried to fill my lungs, but they wouldn't. Not till he wasn't here yet.

"How are you?"

My whisper seemed breathless. It didn't mean I wasn't. I just didn't want him to know. Not that it mattered much, he already knew, he always noticed.

"Miss me?"

My heart started beating faster, and I was able to inhale a bit more air. He wasn't here yet, but his voice comforted me enough.

"You wish."

I could hear the small chuckle. I tried to glance at the clock, but it was too dark to see anything. Probably another ungodly hour. I knew he didn't sleep much. But I did have to get up yearly tomorrow. I decided to cut to the chase.

"Are you coming?"

It was always the same. When the phone started ringing, I already knew. I didn't need to see who was calling, it was maybe three in the morning. It was always him. Every other month, he would call. I just knew it was him. Only he called at such hours. He was probably half-drunk, driving faster and faster to get here tomorrow night. Because, anyway, he couldn't sleep. He used to tell he could sleep peacefully only when he was by my side. He used to...

"Yeah. Tomorrow."

His voice cut through the phone. I thought quickly, to be sure I didn't have anything planned. Sometimes, I really thought he spied on me, because he always came when I was alone. Not really alone, but sleeping on my own in the big bed in my room. Not that it mattered much, we didn't acknowledge that fact.

"I'll be there."

"I do hope so."

His smooth voice sighed, and I almost could almost feel his breath on my ear. A shiver ran my spine, and I tightened the blanket around me.

"See you tomorrow, then."

"Sweet dreams, Bella."

I put the cell phone back on the bedside table, then laid down again. As if I could dream. Furthermore after hearing from him. I would just lay awake, and try not to think too much of him. That he was back. Again.

The first time he came back, I thought I died. I didn't know if it was for happiness or sadness, I just cried.

I never thought he would ever come back. I never thought I would see him again. I never thought he could still love me. Just one good answer out of three. He just came, sought for a suit, congratulated me, and drank champagne. A lot. That was when he wished me a happy weeding night, right before walking away.

That night, I really thought I was going to die, from pain, from sadness, from hatred, from disgust - self-disgust. I tried to picture him, and I started crying. I cried a lot on my wedding day. My husband still thought it was due to the pain of the first time. I never told him he wasn't. I never told him he was, neither. He assumed, we never spoke a lot. Not anymore, anyway. He was too busy travelling around the world once a month. The sad girl he fell in love with just stayed in his house and waited. Just not for the right him, maybe.

I was surprised the second time he stopped by. I didn't know he had my new address, but all he needed was ask his sister. They all knew we were each other's everything a long time ago. Or he was to me, at least. But we could not pick up our story where we left it that night he went away. I was a spouse now - and not his. It didn't matter that I couldn't breathe without him. He became quick friend with my husband, but I always knew that Edward could charm anyone, if he wanted to. That was how he stayed quite a few days with us, as my childhood best friend.

Not that it wasn't true. Edward had always been my best friend, and the man of my life, or so I thought. But we weren't lovers. We tried, we failed. Now, I was a married woman who respected very much her husband, and would not betray him. Still, my husband never knew it was him, the man who broke my heart in so many pieces for him to pick up.

My life was pathetic, but I never told anything. I was too happy to have my first love back, even for a few hours every other year. I would see his crooked smile, his burning eyes who could read right through my soul, and even if he was off-limits, I could feel air in my lungs once again. I could breathe properly.

That was before he came back, for the seventh time. It had been two years since my weeding, my husband had got promoted and I was alone for the first time. He arrived at night and started pounding on the door. I didn't think much, I was a faithful wife, even if I did not love my husband, and to tell the truth, I loved him then, still did. But I should have known that with Edward, my relationship was always much more complicated.

What happened exactly that night - I remember that he was drunk, and started kissing me. Next, we were groping each other in my doorway. I shut off my brains, started feeling things forgotten. My whole body was alight, something I never felt with my husband. I couldn't even bring myself to orgasm, each and every time, I just faked. I didn't enjoy sex anymore. And suddenly I was overwhelmed with feelings I thought had died long ago inside me, the same day he broke my heart and ran away when I was barely nineteen. I was whole again, I was alive, and, stupid me, I thought it was love again.

It wasn't.

Next morning he was gone. Another year passed by.

Then only did the phone calls began. On my mobile, of course. Even if we never spoke about it, we both knew what happened was wrong. That we shouldn't had. But it wasn't fair, we were meant for each other, or so I thought. I didn't believe he could broke my heart more, but it happened then. It was just a fuck. I was just a fuck, always had been it seemed. By then, I didn't believe in love anymore, even if I did believe I was made for loving him. I would just not get my happy ending, I would go to hell because I was lusting after a man who wasn't my husband.

Talk about irony. I waited five whole years for him to come back, and he only reappeared when I was getting married. Maybe I didn't wait long enough. But anyway I was never enough. I wasn't enough - good enough - to hold him back the first time, and still wasn't today. I even didn't understand why he took the trouble coming every once in a while. I knew why, but I still didn't understand. I wasn't that great of a lay.

And I knew he used me, but I didn't care. I loved him too much, and still did today.

That was exactly why I was standing, in a stupid dress with nothing underneath it, in front of his room at some expensive hotel. The same each time he would came back to me.

As I was asking myself for the nth time whether or not I had the strength to leave , the door opened, and there he stood, in all his perfect body, like he knew I was debating outside his door. He smiled, and I knew I could never walk away, it didn't matter how many time he spent away, how many other women he slept with, how many times I would lie to my in-laws.

He took my hand, and closed the door behind me, pushing me against the wall.

He pressed his body against me, his mouth crashing on mine. My hands rose, grasping fistful of his hair and hanging on as to a lifeline. His tongue quickly passed on my bottom lip, requesting access to my mouth. I moaned, sticking my curves against his hard chest. He seemed lean, but every time I met myself against him, I felt every one of his solid muscles. Nothing really mattered except is touch on me. It didn't matter he didn't love me, that I was married, that this was bad, bad, bad. I still craved it. I could never turn it down.

While his tongue fought with mine, his hands were descending along my side, looking for by the buttons, which he ripped apart one by one. I bite my lips so I wouldn't whimper helplessly, it always. My insides were squirming, I pulled at his hair roughly, before tangling my finger at his nape. Kissing him always alight this fire in me, wanting more, more, more... I would happily die if I could keep my lips on his until lack of oxygen killed me. Because as soon as he lowered his lips on my neck, I could feel the air reaching my lungs, and really breathe properly. Deeply. I could breathe once again, while he sucked on my collarbone, his fingers grazing my skin through the fabric of my dress.

"It's wrong, it's wrong..." I chanted as he pulled my dress off my shoulders in a quick movement.

He was licking a path between my breasts, his hands squeezing my hard nipples. His head lowered on my chest, his hair falling over my skin, as his lips kissed my belly.

"I know."

His breath on my stomach made me shiver. His mouth ghosted kisses till he reached my thigh where he started sucking on my skin, leaving a wet trail as his knees sank to the floor so he could continue marking every inch of my skin.

"I know."

His husky voice gave me chills, and I could feel the building-up in my lower half as he kept on teasing me, never touching me where I needed him.

"I know."

He blew on my bundle of nerves before nibbling softly on it. I couldn't stop the moan from escaping my throat.

"God, it's so wrong..."

He put my legs on his shoulders, looked into my eyes.

"I know."

Then, his tongue entered me then. I screamed, pushing my legs together, trying keep him locked there forever. He moved inside me, licking all my juices off me.

I started trashing around, trusting my hips to is greedy mouth, feeling on the brink of my orgasm. His tongue pulled out. A finger started stroking my cunt, then come into me, as his tongue flipped on my clit.

I feel myself falling apart. I cried aloud.

"Edward!"

My husband tried once to come down on me, but I just couldn't get off. I was trying to remember Edward's lips again and again, I just failed. I never did suck him either. That day, I understood I could never get off with another man. Edward just spoiled me for sex with anyone but him.

He kissed my clit once I stopped wiggling, released my legs. They were still shaking, could not support my weight, so I let myself half-leaned half-fall against the wall. I could hear my heavy pants, it was so loud, but I didn't care. It felt so good to be able to breathe again.

Smirking, he stood up in front of me.

"Not satisfied at home, are you?"

"I..."

He was suddenly in front of my face, his eyes full of anger.

"Don't you dare say a word."

I opened my mouth, my jaw falling open. But I didn't say anything. I couldn't. He shoved his tongue between my lips, biting hard on them.

His hands started lifting my legs, wrapping them against his waist. They fell on my bottom and he carried me into the bedroom, never moving his lips from mine. I could fell him against my teeth, stroking them, touching them with his tongue. As is it could mark every piece of my body as his. Even if I wasn't legally, he gave up that right long ago. But here we were.

He bent to put me down on the bed, breaking off to take a lungful of air. I tugged at his air, bringing his head down next to mine. Every gulp of air he took, I could feel it against my skin. I nipped on his ear.

"God, do you feel it, how it's wrong..."

His breathing washed against me, making me tipsy.

"Tell me to stop, then."

His lips fell onto my neck, sucking lightly. Tenderly. I closed my eyes, pretending for half a second that I was loved. Loved. Loved. By the wrong man. Because I couldn't love back the man who was supposed to do those kinds of things to me.

He bit on my skin, and I moaned out loud. He sucked on my shoulder, certainly leaving a mark. It didn't matter, I didn't sleep with my husband anymore. Anyway, he wasn't even there, to have sex with.

Edward thrust against my body.

"Tell me to stop."

I could fell his hardness ready against my thigh, and, God, I craved it.

"Say it."

He stopped, waiting two seconds, pulling himself away me. That wasn't going to work. I held onto him, bringing him back to me, gripping his locks.

"No... Don't stop..." I moaned.

I could fell him smirk as he kissed my collarbone.

Legally, he didn't own me, but I was his, only his. He completely owned me, my heart and soul, and furthermore my body. I would do anything he asked of me, because I had always loved him. Always. And I always would. Even if he wasn't mine. He was like my drug, and I just couldn't get enough. Not today, not tomorrow, not any day. Yet every other month I'd let him come back, and do as he pleased with me. I never really fought, even in the beginning. I wanted it too much. Maybe because I did no have any self-esteem, I'd end up letting him have his way. It was easier. I just could not hate him, despite all.

His hands teased my opening, and I yelped.

"You're so wet. Are you wet for _me_, Bella ?"  
My eyes closed, I nodded, a whimper escaping my lips as his hands brushed against my rectum. Not that it mattered what he did to me. He could do anything, and I would happily oblige. He already did everything to me, took me everywhere and anywhere he could long ago, and still did now that he didn't have the right anymore.

"You're _fucking_ dripping."

His hardness was against my core, I could feel him obviously erect against my opening.

"Are you _only_ wet for me, love?"

I had learned not to believe this word he called me whenever it fell from his lips. He just said it, didn't mean it. Still, my eyes opened, searching for his.

"Only you."

My hands trailed on his chest, trying to take off his clothes.

"Edward... _Please_."

I tried to show him with my eyes what I knew he would never accept if I said it otherwise. Hoping he wouldn't do what he always did next. I was, once again, hoping in vain.

"Beg."

I closed my eyes, my heart clenching painfully. Each time he would do the same. As if it wasn't hurtful, shameful enough that I was laying here on a hotel room for an epic fuck like a cheap whore. But whores get paid, I didn't. And I was so much worse than a whore was, I had a loving husband, even if he wasn't there often, a nice house, amazing kids. I was the worse kind of women, I was a cheater who only wanted a released. Even if it was from my first love, it was still sex. Only sex.

"Beg for it, Bella. Then I will consider giving it to you."

He pinched my stiff nipples, his thumbs caressing them.

"Hard. I _know_ you, you like it rough."

He brought his mouth onto one and nibbled on it. He started sucking around it. I couldn't stop myself, and grumbled. He raised his face up against mine, his lower half pressing into me. Smirking.

"Fucking beg for my cock, Bella."

I opened my mouth. Like every time. He already knew I would.

"Fuck me, Edward. Please, I beg you."

His smirk grew wider, and he opened his jeans, taking his length out. It stood proudly erected - hard, big, and thick, waiting eagerly. I could see precum on its tip. I knew what I would have to do any second from now. But I wanted to, oddly enough. I laid there and waited, as his eyes bore into mine. He crawled up, putting it in front of my eyes.

"Your mouth. Open."

He shoved it in my mouth. I inhaled by the nose, or I would gag. He was so big, had always have been. I started sucking on his shaft, my tongue racing against the head, dragging my teeth against his length. He thrust into my mouth, once, twice.

"God, Bella..."

Soon, he pulled out.

"Turn."

I did, leaning on my elbows on all fours and he was already waiting at my entrance.

He plunged roughly into me from behind, didn't stop to let me accommodate to his length.

I screamed. It had been a while since the last time he came. It had been even longer since the last time my husband tried having sex with me. I never responded and he didn't want to impose on me. He would never abuse me. He loved me. But I couldn't, I couldn't not love Edward. He was my first love, my first lover, my only love, the man of my whole life. He possessed me. There was no other way for me to exist, because otherwise, my life didn't have any meaning.

That was why he could do all these things to me.

"Edward."

His chest, still covered by his shirt, brushed against me. I opened my legs more, my ass sticking out into his flesh, meeting each of his moves.

"Edward..."

He didn't stop, pulling in, pulling out, thrusting again, and again. He started sucking on my nape, sink his teeth into my skin every chance he could. I could feel him hit my pelvis each time he came back into me. Hard. Fast. Hitting spots in me my husband could never manage to find.

"Oh, God, Edwaaard..."

I could feel myself nearing the edge, I would fall down any moment, and then, it would all be over, and he would be gone. Again. I tried to hold onto my orgasm, squirming under him. He understood, bringing his lips against the shell of my air, licking on it.

"See?" He said, thrusting into me so deep, I could feel his balls pressing into my bundle of nerves. "You are mine, Bella."

He groaned as I moaned, my inner walls squeezing him the deeper he went.

"Yes, Edward. Yes..."

I would agree to anything if he would only continue until the end of time.

"Completely mine. You only do as I say. I control you, I control your body. Because I crave you so fucking much."

His hands roamed against my breasts, pinching hard. I cried, it hurt.

"Only I. I can give you pain, pleasure. And I can make you do anything. And you would do as I say. Only as I say."

He thrust hard into me, skin slapping against skin.

"Come."

It was all I needed. I felt myself tighten against his length, my chest heaving hard. He continued to plunge inside me, as I reached my high, clenching the sheets with both hands.

"Edward!"

He chuckled, as I felt myself going limp beneath him, breathing heavily.

But he wasn't done. I could hear the rest of his clothes finally falling off his body, somewhere near the bed.

Then he turned me around, and pushed another time into me.

"I want to see your eyes when_ I_ cum, love." Of course, it was all about him.

He started sucking onto my breasts, nibbling on them, licking my skin while he was still driving into me, rougher than before.

"Legs."

In a daze, I wrapped my legs against his waist, allowing him to go deeper. His panted into my neck, continuing to push forcefully into my core. I started myself getting worked up again. My heels kicked into his flesh, clenching myself even more against his body, trying to be even closer to him. His tongue darted, licking the side of my neck, up my jaw.

"I own you, Bella."

"Edward..."

"Say it."

He drove himself to the hilt, halting his movements for a second.

I pushed my hips against him.

"Say it."

"YES!" I screamed, pushing again.

"You own me, Edward! Just, please..."

With a groan, he shoved into me faster and faster.

"Yes. Yes. Yes." He panted.

He barely pulled out the whole way anymore, his head staying into me as he drove into me over and over.

"Edwaaarrd... Oh, Edwaaaard..."

I could feel myself coming again, gripping tightly, milking him. I clutched onto his shoulders for dear life, my nails scratching, clawing harshly as he thrust one more time before meeting me, releasing inside me with grunt. He fell against me, his weight on my body. It felt nice. As if he would rely on me, like I was his, and only his. His arms brushed the hair out of my eyes.

He started showering my skin with his mouth, kissed my shoulder, my collarbone. His eyes pierced into mine.

"Till next time, Bella."

His lips crashed once again on mine, nibbling, sucking. His tongue licked my lower lip and I let him in with a moan. My fingers raised from his shoulders where marks were slightly visible, towed at his hair. My legs tightened against him, trying to bring him closer, closer, closer... Until we couldn't ever be seen as two distinct bodies. I felt him moan softly as one of my hands lowered onto his back, drawing his spin. I couldn't help myself, I sighed softly against his lips.

"Edward..."

My whisper seemed to wake him up. His mouth closed, he placed a few mores pecks on my lips, then he pulled out of me and went into the bathroom, locking the door after him. Leaving me empty on the bed.

I brought my knees to my chest, hugging myself. It was all the same. I squeezed my eyes, I wouldn't cry. I had wanted this. I knew it would finish this way. It always did.

I raised and searched for my dress. I didn't bother with undergarments anymore, he ripped them all.

I dressed, fixed my hair, somehow, and get the hell out. It was late. I needed to get some sleep, or at least lay down, so I would be a bit less sore tomorrow. Trying to fill my lungs in vain. But I would not be able to breathe till next time.

I took a cab, the driver looking strangely at me, but saying nothing. Probably thinking I was a call girl, or something along those lines. I paid him in a daze, going inside my house quickly. I was going upstairs when I heard a soft voice, calling me.

"Mom?"

I froze. God, no. I couldn't play the perfect mother now. I oozed fucking sex.

"Yeah, it's me. Go back to sleep, sweetie."

I stood in the doorway of the bedroom.

"'Kay. Night, Mom. Love you."

My heart clenched painfully. I could feel the lump in my throat.

"Love you too, baby."

I knew I should stop, at least if not for me, but for the kids. What kind of Mom am I? I was starting to act like my own mother, how fucked up was that? Renée always put her own needs above all, one of the reason why I could never cope with my own, too fearful of deceiving someone else. But I supposed I did betray a lot of people since I was sleeping with my ex and first lover.

Even then, I couldn't find it in me to regret it. Not that I didn't love my children, I did, really. Yet as much as I loved them, I couldn't deny Edward anything, especially not my body. I craved for him, and each time he would come back to take me, I would let him, offer him the shelter of my heat if only for a few hours, even if he would never give anything in return.

I did love my children. Just I always thought they would be his. His children - like my children were meant to be his, I was meant to only carry his, to love only him, to belong only to him. And I did. But he could mark as many spot of my body as he could, he wasn't their father. Even if he did love me, which wasn't the case, he would never be.


End file.
